So I recently had my first experience properly dominating someone. I’d met this girl at my university’s fetish society and we hit it off and talked about potentially playing together. We were both subs so I said we could try switching together so we both get to experience play as a bottom. It worked out that I ended up permanently in the top role and that actually fit us quite well. I really enjoyed it.
I was rather surprised at how much I enjoyed inhabiting this role as it’s not really something that’s appealed to me. I’ve always identified as a sub and so topping someone really felt alien to me. But I was open to experiencing it.
Aside from my Domme requesting that I explore my dominant side (something she says she has seen in me for a long time), I decided to step into the topping role as I saw that there was a need for it. There are a lot of submissives and not enough Dom/mes to go around. So rather then leaving myself and others sitting around with nothing to do I felt I should be pragmatic and inhabit the top role so others could gain the experience they want. After first negotiating the possibility of switching with my new partner, I decided that I would stick with the top role as submitting for anyone other then my Domme made me feel uneasy. By only inhabiting the top role in this new dynamic I was able to engage in a relationship that allowed me to fed my new partner whilst keeping my submissive side unspoiled for my Domme. So the two complementary natures of Dominant/submissive both existed within me at the same time as by only dominating my new partner I continued in my submission to my Domme. The two natures remained fully within me, mixed together whilst remaining separate and distinct.
I suppose you can read this as a form of incarnational ministry. A moving in and inhabiting of a role within a community whilst still belonging to something else. It comes from the idea of God coming into the world in human form through Jesus Christ in the incarnation. Marcella Althaus-Reid describes God as the ultimate Top whilst Christ is most definitely a bottom. Through the incarnation God went from all powerful Heavenly Being to meek and mild, crucified victim. So there certainly is scope to understand the role of the switch as incarnational.
It’s also something Paul writes about in his first letter to the Corinthians. Paul talks about becoming all things to all people in order to best speak to those people about the Gospel.
Of course I am not here likening my occupying the dominant role to the incarnation or as a tool for evangelism. I’m just reflecting upon how people might understand inhabiting roles they are not used to.
Being open to inhabit the roles and positions that others do not want to is a huge strength to those wishing to enter ministry. It offers us the ability to inhabit along side people who we wouldn’t normally be able to get close to. It also helps to fulfil the needs of those who have no one to help.
Inhabiting the roles that no one else can is a gift that we can offer people who need it most, though we must be careful not to feel too haughty as benefactors. In inviting us in to inhabit the empty spaces of people’s relationships we are being given a gift even more precious then the one we bring with us. That of trust and acceptance.
 Althaus-Reid, Marcella, Indecent Theology (London: Routeledge, 2001), 160