Church Dogminatrix – Locking Away Desire

Chastity has a long tradition in the Christian church. Long before the toxic purity culture turned it into a poisoning and damaging mindset the men and woman of the monastic tradition where practising self imposed chastity to sharpen their minds and draw them closer to God.

C.S. Lewis wrote that Chastity is now the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. This is most certainly the case now, but only because it is so misunderstood. Chastity has come to be seen as something imposed upon us by prudish leaders, anti-sex campaigners or those who wish to control female bodies. When revaluated and approached with a positive light, by those who choose to enter it freely, chastity becomes a very appealing virtue and one that can bring a great deal to the BDSM scene.

When imposed upon the self, or by someone who has your best interests at heart, chastity is a beautiful thing. Done for the right reasons it has all number of benefits.

It helps set your mind on what really matters. This can be your work, other aspects of your life, self improvement or more importantly your relationships. By locking away your desires you are able to focus more upon the desires of others. This makes you far more useful as a person. Stripping away the constant attempts to satiate your own desire allows you to focus far more on the desires and needs of others.

In a submissive this is a highly desirable quality. Self improvement and a desire to fulfil other’s rather than your own needs are staples of the submissive lifestyle. By voluntarily entering into chastity and removing your own desire you will instantly become more desirable yourself. A chaste submissive is one that can focus more upon what really matters and remove unnecessary distractions that get in the way of your service.

Living fully for the needs of others is a deeply Christian characteristic. We are called to love our neighbours as ourselves, it is often our own desires and needs that get in the way of us doing this. Cutting out our desires makes it easier for us to love others the way they need.

Improving our relationship is something that is highly desirable to God as well. God does not want us to live in half arsed relationships, but to love unconditionally. If chastity brings us closer to each other in our committed relationships then it will in turn bring us closer to God as well.[1] Serving others allows us to serve God.

There is of course also the history of chastity devices in the Christian west. Huge metal devices, often with sharp edges, enforcing us to not touch anything or think unholy thoughts. Devices nowadays are smaller, cleaner and designed to encourage rather than punish. The sensation of wearing a device heightens the positives rather than punishes the negatives. Chastity should be a positive expression of love for those who we are chaste for, rather than a punishment forced upon us.

Modern devices allow us to physically enter into chastity more easily. There is a great deal of symbolism surrounding the chastity device and the lock and key. The ritual of putting the device on, the key worn as jewellery by the owner, the proud display of the length of time wearing the device, all signs and symbols that bring a greater depth to a D/s relationship. The wearing of these devices heightens the sensations of chastity and sharpens our focus from ourselves onto others through a constant reminder that our desires must be secondary to those whom we serve.

Serving others is crucial to the Christian faith, and it is in serving others that we serve Jesus. Chastity helps us to do that more fully.

So whether you are chaste by wearing a device or simply through mindset allow yourself to submit yourself more fully to those you serve. Lock away your selfish desires and allow the desire to serve, please and fulfil the needs of others be your release.


  1. More on D/s Relationships allowing us to serve God here.

About Natalie Waste

Bisexual, Lifestyle-Submissive CD. Christian minister blogging about Kink, Christianity and Theology.
This entry was posted in Church Dogminatrix, Faith Lessons, God, kink, relationship, Submission and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Church Dogminatrix – Locking Away Desire

  1. Santiago says:

    Being in chastity , for Me , does many things. Firstly it brings me to the realm of Courtly Love focused on my Queen at all times and in all actions. Turning that energy inward I find it empowering and overwhelming. I find it helps to keep me in mystical states all day especially when I’ve been locked up for several weeks. I find I can alchemize that energy in meditation and in prayer as well.

    It does bring me to a point of servanthood to the world around me. I haven’t thought of it like that but your right. It’s a wonder gift , chastity. I have studying how BDSM and it’s rituals can be a part of a certain monasticism. I that chastity is a big part of this. I look forward to learning more.

    Thank you,



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s