Recently I’ve been spending time chatting with a number of Christian Kinksters and exploring their ideas of BDSM and kink households. Whilst I do not want to fall into the trap of kink shaming, I must admit what I discovered I found rather troubling.
In, the predominantly North American, conservative Christian kink scenes I have been investigating the predominant kink is that of a male dominated household. Female domination is frowned upon, submissive males are ridiculed and most forms of LGBT+ identity are vilified.
Their desired BDSM setting appears to be mostly drawn around a romanticised vision of 1950’s Americana. A dominant male head of the house who spanks his housewife for any misdeeds she might have committed whilst he is out and about. What they fail to address is the often abusive nature of these marriages, the lack of consent and the reducing the female to a subordinate member of society. These are all well and good in a consensual BDSM relationship, but the model they are holding up is far from that. Along with the home life, this sexual fantasy is often held alongside a fantasy of society going back to the “good old days” of social conservativism and racism.
I find this form of religious kink far more problematic than those who fetishize faith, pervert or misuse religious items or enjoy hierophilia. This is not a religious perversion, it is a perversion of religion.
Participants in this Christian kink scene perform hermeneutical backflips to say some (mostly their own) kinks are alright whilst others are strictly forbidden or down right satanic. This despite there being nothing about kink in the bible, nor how we are to have sex. The discussion held about other forms of kink, even those not that dissimilar to those promoted within this Christian scene, uses the same dangerous and abusive language as those used by extreme wings of the Church against LGBTI+ people, liberal attitudes and modern thinking.
Sadly, like most Christian groups, the Christian kinksters I have encountered are simply trying to conserve the status quo, this time of “traditional” white heteronormative marriage including a husbands’ right to beat their wives. BDSM is all about exploring the heterodox areas of sexuality, not stifling them. Rather than promoting the diversity of human sexuality and celebrating in perversion these Christian groups are promoting a backwards, abusive form of strict heteronormative sexuality. The only thing perverse about them is their backwards social thinking and desire to bring back abuse as a societal norm.
When it comes to kinky conservative Christians there is very little kinky about them.
(Nor Christian for that matter.)